That’s Stella

This evening in Adams bathroom I did that thing that we woman apparently do. Truthfully, it was my first time doing it, but in movies and such they tend to make out that this is purely a WOMAN thing to do, and that is to check out medicine cabinets in a man’s bathroom.

Seriously, I’ve never had any particular desire to do this because I could imagine a medicine cabinet could be filled with little horrors you’d just prefer turning a blind eye to. But just like society’s pressures and exclusivity of joining mile high clubs and backpacking through Europe and other little social cliches, I felt like raiding the medicine cabinet was one thing I could tick off my list of things to do.

So I did. It was bare. I was a little disappointed. There wasn’t even any paracetamol or cotton buds.

There was however a bottle of Hugo by Hugo Boss cologne. This is my favourite men’s cologne. THIS and Aqua Di Gio seriously makes me want to devour a guy. Okay… that sounds a little nasty, but you get my message. So one of my weird things I like to do is associate certain smells with certain people, just like I associate certain songs with certain cities because it brings back memories. When I think of New York I think of Coming In From The Cold by the Delgados. When I think of London I think of Uncle Pat by Ash. When I think of the smell of coffee, I think of Subiaco Markets, etc…

So I put the bottle of Hugo up to my nose and take a whiff. Ahhhh heaven! I open up the bottle to get more of a whiff and FARK! The bottle drops on the ground and the cologne is slowly gurgling out the bottle as if in slow motion. FARK X 1000

I quickly pick up the bottle and violently yank metres of toilet paper to clean up my evidence. I flush it down the loo and return the bottle to it’s original position in the medicine cabinet praying that Adam doesn’t suspect a thing. I spray a bit of my own perfume (Sui Love by Anna Sui) that I keep in my bag in his bathroom to drown out the Hugo.

I join him on the couch in the lounge and during conversation Miss. 23 who is totally oblivious to what happened in the bathroom questions who in the group smells so lovely. I could’ve thumped her if she was sitting next to me! She could obviously smell the wreaking sensation of overpowering cologne and I pipe up and say it must be Adam.
“Yeah maybe.” He says.
“What are you wearing? Hugo right?” I question him.
“Nah Aqua Di Gio. My housemate uses Hugo”
FAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRK x 10000000000
Spilling housemates cologne kinda puts a stinker on our relationship.