That’s Stella

Despite the expensive retail therapy and over indulgence last weekend to get over seeing Chris canoodling with another girl, I was still DOWN. Oh my! Who would’ve guessed.

Anyway… my girl friends suggested I just be straight and tell him that I like him.

I always thought that it was obvious. The fact that I always reciprocated his kiss was a way of saying “Hey I think you’re Mr. Hottie Hotpants and I wouldn’t mind if you tried to get into mine”.

But the girls reminded me that he is a creative and this means (in our stereotypical view) that creatives need direction and are often a little clueless and need a suit to guide their way. And it’s true. I mean, without suits, creatives would be surfing YouTube all day long.

So I emailed him. I asked him if he wanted to meet up for drinks sometime this week.

And I waited for his response.

Despite his advances in the past, I still expected him to reply with a “Oh sorry I’m busy” or completely ignore my request. My confidence in our little romantic liaison dipped since I last saw him.

But within minutes he replied with a day and time and venue, as well as some minor chit chat about how he can’t remember a thing from the ad ball.

I was ecstatic! I wished I had done it before I spent all my money on the weekend and loaded up on the Lindt…

I met him at our usual bar after work. I was 10 minutes late because I thought I was going to be sick! There were a few close calls, but by the time I actually got out of the bathroom at work, I was stuck in traffic and felt oh so bad.

I walked in the bar and there he was… and I can’t describe the feeling of seeing him. But it felt like I hadn’t seen him for a lifetime. Things were a little awkward at first. The more we chatted, the more I felt like I didn’t really know him as much as I wanted to before spilling the beans. Yeah sure it was also an excuse for not telling him how I felt, but this was the first time we’d be out alone and I wanted to see how things would go.

We talked about marriage and sex and life partners and at one point it did feel like we were interviewing each other as potentials, but I gained SO much insight into why he hasn’t been making bold moves. He doesn’t want anything long term. Ever. He doesn’t believe it’s realistic! OMG. In my head I could feel alarm bells going off. Not that I’m expecting to find a husband in the near future, but everything he was saying said SO much about what could happen. And particularly… all the ways he could break my heart! argH!

After the ’serious’ talk we gave crap to each other and it felt a lot more casual like it has in the past when we had friends around. I made him laugh and OMG HIS LAUGH is the most amazing sound ever. He laughs with his whole body and his eyes squint and he is oh so gorgeous.

At the end of the night he went in for the kiss. It was like we were on slow motion. He moved in… leant down (he’s well over 6ft and I’m a mere 5ft3.)… and tilted his head and closed his eyes… HAHAHAH… it was so great. I kept my eyes open so I could get a look of him up close and personal but when our lips locked (how corny!) I thought I’d better close my eyes in case he caught me staring.

I’m seeing him again tonight and in my dreams I’ll ask him to take me home with him.

In reality, I know I’ll end up waking up in my friends bed head to toe, unsatisfied.

Ha.