That’s Stella

It was a beautiful moment. I felt a little light headed, yet everything seemed so clear for the first time this year. Honestly, the feeling was completely overwhelming and I laughed but I wanted to cry but I had the biggest grin on my face.

I wanted to have a smoke, drown a vodka and jump in the air.

It was like someone turned on a switch in the back of my head when I realised

I hate my job.

It was the start of the week and by noon I had had my revelation.

My client was giving me the silent treatment. Someone had fucked up and because I am the middle man, I cop all the flak and dissapointment and abuse. After I got off the phone kissing my clients butt, I realised “Wow. This is SO not me. I feel like I’m in a relationship here and usually I am the one to give the silent treatment. Why am I pretending to be someone I’m really not? I don’t even get paid enough to warrant such irregular behaviour. I am going to be doing this my whole life…”

And thats when I had my light bulb moment.

I realised if I was to stay in my job, I would be going against all my beliefs. I do believe you can make a living doing something you love. I do believe that everyone deserves a chance to do what they want and not spend their life in misery.

Initially - I wanted my job so bad. SO BAD. It’s such a hard job to get and such a hard industry to get into and when I got in, well, it was definitely one of the happiest moments of my life. I thought I got myself a pretty position that was half hard core business, and half creative. But forget creative. Since being in this position, I feel like I’ve had my creative soul sucked right out of me.

And now… now I must think what I want to do! I know I’m in the right industry, but I need to find a better suiting position. Not all is lost.