That’s Stella

Argh! I know it’s not even January yet, but I am starting to freak out about apartment hunting in New York. Everytime I go to New York I lose sleep over thoughts I’m not going to find an ideal place, but in reality, I always find a place last minute. I have been so lucky the last few times (cosy place on Chambers in Tribeca, modern and clean apartment on the Upper East Side, gorgeous French door type apartment in the West Village). I’m starting to think, have I lucked out on this occasion?

I don’t get to New York till mid February, but I leave Perth in 23 days (not that I’m counting) and am worried I’ll be too busy having the time of my life in Los Angeles and all along the West Coast that I won’t have the time then to find a place before I reach NY.

I suppose it’s harder this time round - I’m going there unemployed and I have to make sure I find a place I can afford till I find a job - however long that may take.

I have such fond memories of the West Village, it’s making it hard for me to look elsewhere.

My parents are hosting their annual Christmas Eve Party at our place. Dad has this magnificent backyard with lollipop and mango fruit trees decorated with tinsel and fairy lights. There are icicle lights around the pool area in case anyone fancies a night swim!
We’re cooking up a storm. Steaks, satay chicken, sausages, prawns, lobster and salads galore. Our family are coming over and my besties and colleagues from work. We usually set up tables under the verandah, but with day light saving and the sun not setting till 8ish, we’re setting up tables on the lawn and eating al fesco style. The tables are decorated with white table clothes, and a bowl of Christmas baubles and crackers in the middle.
I’ve made a vanilla cake with chocolate ganache filling and vanilla bean frosting with mixed berries on top for desert. I’ll post photos later!
After all the guests have gone, our family tradition is to open up presents late Christmas eve so we can have a sleep in on Christmas Day. There’s always good intentions for sleeping in, but on Christmas Day I usually awake to the smell of honey ham and noises of mum and dad cooking in the kitchen.
It’s going to be a stinker of a day tomorrow - 38 degrees C! So a dip in the pool is only mandatory!

Hope you all have a fabulous Christmas with your loved ones!

Stella xoxoxo

I know I claimed that I had some sort of closure with him, but the romantic feelings haven’t miraculously come to a halt. Yet. I’m working on it, but I can’t help but want to spend all my time with him, especially as our time is so limited considering I’m leaving in a months time!

He is going on vacation with his family for the next 3 weeks and only returns in my last week in Perth so we made more of an effort to spend more time together this week.

I got up at 4:30am to be on time to meet him for breakfast at one of my favourite breakfast spots. It took me forever deciding what to wear. Sexy or cute? At that time of the day, I thought cute was the way to go and wore a booby black dress with black pointy wedges and a caramel and black polka dot silk scarf tied around my neck in a bow.

We arrived at our meeting spot at the same time. Even though he was right outside the restaurant, he crossed the road to meet me, and I clutched his arm as we crossed the road together. It was breezy and my hair and scarf blew in the wind, and I felt like I was in some romantic movie.

We scored a booth in a corner of the restaurant and sat next to each other snuggled intimately, like one of those annoying couples you see sitting on the same side of a booth rather than sitting opposite each other. We whispered to each other and my attention was his. A bald Britney Spears could’ve walked in with her entourage and a flock of paparazzi and I wouldn’t have noticed, Hell, the restaurant could’ve been burning down and I doubt I would’ve felt the fire at my feet.

As we ate breakfast, I did think how lucky it would be to have breakfast with him every morning or even better, to wake up with him every morning.

On our last day at work before his vacation, I noticed a lone Christmas present sitting on his desk the whole day. Admittedly I got a little paranoid and wondered if it wasn’t for me, who he could possibly like in the office more than me! But my heart melt when he went to say goodbye and gave me the present and wished me a great Christmas and New Years. I told him how much I’d miss him and didn’t know how I’d survive my last few weeks at work without him. We kissed and it was bittersweet as he left and I clutched his present in my hand.

I love you.
I just love my kids more.

It was everything I needed to hear for me to move on. I know it has been going on for way too long – these feelings for the unattainable. Silly silly silly! Married. Kids. You don’t have to tell me how wrong it is.

But it’s not every day you meet someone who has the whole package, who you’re completely attracted to and who seems to at least reciprocate some sort of feelings for you too.

Hell, he loves me!

I’m shocked he was so blunt about it. I mean, he’s English. I thought English men don’t talk about feelings? I’m glad it’s out in the open and now I don’t have to stay awake at night wondering if he feels the same way or if his touches mean anything more than they are.

I am flattered he ‘loves’ me. But I love even more that he loves his kids and wife and family more.

I love that it wasn’t a hard decision for him. I completely respect him for that. On top of the fact he’s always got time for me if I’m down or just need a chat, he sticks up for me and never sugar coats things – he always tells me like it is because as he says ‘we’re too close to bullshit each other’. He’s just always there. He cares.

He told me the other day that he only has friends he’s known for 30 over years and it was nice that I came along and will join his list of friends he’ll know for a long time.

Even though I’m only here for another month, I’m looking forward to our ‘friendship’.

Eleven - is the number of working days I have left in December.
Eleven - is the number of working days I have left in January.

I am freaking out about where I am going to live in New York.
I am on a strict budget - which means no more fancy living in the West Village for me this time round.

I attended a night of drunken debauchery. I’ll share once I recover from the splitting headache.

x