That’s Stella

So, I know this might sound strange, but I’ve fallen into a Jewish community here in New York. I find this slightly strange because I am not Jewish. I mean, don’t get me wrong - I have no problem with it because I have a secret attraction to Jewish men and what better way to meet them then to hang out with them and their friends.

I’ve been attending Shabbat (Friday night dinners) and practicing their religion because I don’t want to be disrespectful and stick out like a sore thumb. I am pretty much down with all their customs, except reading the Hebrew prayers before and after Shabbat. I mean, I am hardly the right person to tell you the Jewish customs, but it’s things like not using electricity/exchanging money from Friday sundown till an hour after Saturday sundown and eating kosher food and not mixing dairy and meat. I’m not strict on this because I’M NOT JEWISH, but tonight, instead of using a cab or subway to get across town to our friends apartment, I walked with my friend, even though it was PISSING down with rain this evening. My boots were flooded. Also, I made sure my cell phone was turned off and other little things.

Anyway, tonight I was the only person at this huge dinner party of 20 that wasn’t Jewish but I must say I was impressed with myself that I knew what to do and didn’t talk from the time I washed my hands till the challah bread is shared and could join in on the customs and not look like a total tool.

There were 3 guys to every girl and oh my goodness, it was like a candy store. Of course the really hot guy was the only guy that didn’t introduce himself to me and I later found out from the other chicks that he knows he’s attractive and a bit full of himself. But just as I was thinking about leaving, this really attractive guy arrived and I decided to stick around. He dressed really well and had nice blue eyes and seemed friendly. He introduced himself to me but there were so many people around it was hardly the right time to get to know him. So he finally seperates from the group to get up and wash the dishes! So after some time I decide to get up and get a drink and see if he needs a hand.

“Do you need a hand?” was all it took from me to get him to ask the question I always get asked “Where are you from?!” and I lapped up the attention from being the foreigner. Haha! He said he loved my accent and we needed to hang out and yada yada! Anyway I end up leaving my friends place early in the morning and despite it being completely out of his way and add to that the rotten weather, he asks if he can walk me home!

In my head I was already thinking about what our childrens names will be and if I would convert to Judaism and if our children would have Hebrew names and if I could really convert considering how much I love bacon and pork and cheeseburgers (oh my!). But all my fantasies came to a screeching halt when I found out on our walk to my place that he was gay. Like really homosexual. Honestly, I felt like an idiot. I should’ve known by his designer pants and Dolce and Gabbana belt buckle and impeccable black shiny shoes. I wondered if I had the power to make him change teams, but as soon as he started dancing on the corner of 2nd Avenue and 10th, I decided it wasn’t going to happen.

Shabbat and the rituals are really interesting. If interested, check out more about the rituals here.