That’s Stella

My agency started laying off people this week and I am shit scared. Not that I wasn’t before. But for such a big agency, and being so new, it scares me that I knew everyone that was laid off and particularly with my friend, he is one of the last people I thought would be told to pack his bags because he works on such big business!! We were trying to figure out if there was a pattern to who was being laid off, but our conclusion is….

No one is safe.

I always seem to attract some sort of a motherly figure at every work place and unfortunately my “mother” was one of the unfortunate ones. I walked into her office on Friday afternoon with a straight face. I didn’t want to smile in case she confused that with me being happy about the situation, and I didn’t want to put on a sad face because I wanted to be positive. As soon as she saw me, she laughed and gave me a hug and said she would be OK.

I told her I knew SHE would be OK and it was me I was worried about, that she’d probably be replaced with some giant prick in her department that I’d have to deal with. I was joking… but I wasn’t really.

Last week I was actually offered a dream job, but there was one big problem. It was back in Perth. I declined. But now I’m wondering if that was some sort of sign…

Tonight I’m going out for drinks and checking out some bands on the Lower East Side with Jon. I’m a bit anxious about looking like a circus freak side show with him being well over 6′2 and me barely coming in at 5′4. At least if I get lost in the crowd he should be easy to spot.

Remember this guy I went on a date with last year? We hang out all the time and he recently started going out with this girl. He made a really big deal out of me meeting this new chick in his life. I met her, and whilst everyone was telling me to expect the worse because she’s a Jersey girl, we got along great. She’s super sweet. I told Trev that I approved and he sighed with relief and said “Rad. That would’ve blown if my best friend in New York didn’t get along with my girl.”
Not only is the feeling mutual and I consider him my best mate here, but he also happens to be the best wingman ever!

He had a party on the weekend at his place - he has amazing views of Union Square and the Empire State from his balcony. I got to his place at 11pm and he was there, with his girlfriend Tina and his colleague Jon. Very CUTE Jon. No one else. Where the hell was the party?

We down some beers and play Rock Band - I rock it out to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Garbage. And when I say “rock it out” I mean I try and hold a note and not sound like a reject from Idol. Everyone starts arriving at Trev’s around midnight, and by that time Jon is flirting with me. Awesome. Every time he walks past me to get a drink, he pinches my elbow and gives me a smile. I’m seated next to Trev the whole night, but whenever he gets up, Jon finds a way to sit next to me.

When everyone starts leaving (including Jon), I finally get a chance to tell Tina that I’m into Jon and we both panic because he’s about to leave and Trev is in his room with EVERYONE getting their coats = no subtle way to just ask Jon to stay behind. So Tina suggests to quickly text Trev.

“Don’t let Jon go. Suggest we go out for drinks.”

Of course there was the possibility that Trev wouldn’t get the message in time and Jon would leave…. ARGH!! Tina and I stayed put in his lounge, anxious whether or not Trev would get the message, and even if he did, whether Jon would say YES. Anyway like some brilliantly stroke of luck, everyone is out the door except Jon and Trev fires the question “Hey buddy. Want to go out for a drink or something?”

“Yeah sure.”

Trev turns to me and Tina and asks “Girls, want to go out for a drink?”

And at exactly the same time, we chirp enthusiastically “YES!”.

I suggest to Trev to have drinks at some cosy, dark, lounge but we end up at this crowded dive bar where there was definitely no couch to get cosy on with Jon. He buys me a drink and suggests we go sit on this bench on our own. Ooo la la! But I am super uncomfortable on this wooden bench. My feet are dangling in the air and I’m hardly facing him. I am like some crazy woman and because I can’t get comfortable, I can’t get in the zone and I’m focusing on everything except Jon. We sit close by and get touchy feely, but we don’t make out! I am completely bummed at the end of the night.

Anyway this really isn’t a happy ending story, but stay tuned… my wingman is hooking us up this weekend…

This is one of my favorite shows. I was devastated when they decided to end the series. I mean, seriously, WTF!? The show had such a loyal fan base and picked up a few awards. It just died so prematurely.

I still giggle thinking about all my favorite moments. Teehehe…
The number one moment I get a kick out of is when Tobias (best character EVER) decides to be the first analyst and therapist. The outcome on his business card? “Analrapist”.

SO, it was kinda cool when I met him the other night through a friend. He was seemingly normal. I don’t know what I was expecting. I mean, no shit - I didn’t think he was going to be like his character, but when you’re standing face to face and having a conversation with Tobias, you can’t help but want to see some craziness, or at least his denim cut-offs.

Do you ever wish sometimes that you could start over, knowing the things you know now? If I could, I wish I could go back to the start of my university days, having all the wisdom I have now, and make better choices - career wise.

I would tell myself that my job isn’t as creative as everyone claims it is - that it in fact, sort of kills your creative soul - or at least your clients do.

I would tell myself that money is shit in the beginning, and whilst your salary leaps from title to title, you could always do with more to pay for all your therapy sessions for all the stress you’ve endured.

I would tell myself to aim high, and not give up any ambitions.

I’m thinking about a career change but I’m wondering if it’s too late. If I really want to start from the bottom again. I wonder if in 5 years, I’m going to be telling myself “It wasn’t too late”.

Are you working in your dream job?

My love affair with 1959 was short lived. We went out on a few dates, but after awhile, I was the only one trying and he was avoiding then completely rejecting me. I was in denial. I knew from our first date that we weren’t compatible. He lacked any sort of passion for work or art or travel or music or movies or anything. For someone who was so creative, he wasn’t very interested in anything very creative. I was turned off by the fact that he was turning 50 and never lived anywhere but New York. I told him I wanted to live in every big city in this world and explore. He said he was settling down in New York and had no plans to travel. It’s obvious we are at completely different places in our lives.