That’s Stella

Eric convinced me to ask out John for drinks. It wasn’t a major leap because Eric, John and I had already discussed hanging out on Saturday night. So I messaged him.

“Hi! Great to meet you last night. What are you up to tonight? Interested in meeting up for drinks? Stella”

No reply. Rejection! To be honest, I knew there was a big chance that would happen. Unfortunately, as much as we got along, I kinda knew feelings weren’t reciprocated. Eric has been harping on that he thinks I’m scared of rejection and that’s what stops me from getting out there. I love that he tells me this like it’s some big revelation, but I doesn’t take Einstein to figure that one out. This is 100% true. So even though this is going to sound retarded, I almost wanted rejection from John so I could feel the pain of rejection, and see how I dealt with getting over it.

So I headed out with my girlfriends on Saturday night. Eric joined us and pushed me to talk to random men. After he left, me and my friend headed to one bar in the East Village. By this time, it was 2am and I was a happy drunk and feeling flirty and sexy. I kept glancing at this cute guy who stood alone behind us at the bar, but was occasionally talking to some Asian girl. He wore plaid and was tall and did I mention he was cute? Soon enough, he came over and started chatting to me. My friend felt like the 3rd wheel and disappeared to the toilets. I’m chatting to this guy Sean, and we start making out at the bar. We couldn’t have given a toss about who we were, what we did, our background, etc.. which I think is the reason I felt so sketchy about the whole situation.

He was begging me to leave the bar with him. If he wasn’t so cute I would’ve walked away after his “smooth line” of “How would you feel about seeing me naked?”. But I was lapping up the attention. It was a major ego boost after such a dry season and it was just what I needed. By 3am, the bar was emptying out and Sean and I headed to the back of the bar where it was pitch black and my girl friend was dancing with this tall mammoth of a man. I know this is going to sound juvenile, but as we made out in the corner, I gave him a hand job. Hah. A hand job! Yes, i am 25 years old and gave a hand job to some random guy at a bar. But like I said, it was pitch black. He asked to go back to my place, but I just was not feeling it. I’ve been complaining to my friends for months about my poor sex life, and here was this guy, cute and eager, and I couldn’t feel it. I dragged my girl friend outside and asked what I should do… she walked me to the curb, popped me in a cab and told me it wasn’t worth it. So yes. I left this poor guy at the bar wondering where I was. And whilst I felt really bad the next morning, I had no regrets.

My bio needed updating since 2005… a lot has changed.

I am Stella. I am a 20-something year old girl who grew up in Perth and has been living in New York for the past 1.5 years.

When I was in my early teens, I earned money being on children television shows. A couple years later I posed as an 18 year old (when in actual fact I was very under age) and got a job as a DJ on a radio show. I scored press passes to concerts and after parties and met famous musicians. I was mischievous and brazen and it was some of the best years of my life.

When I was 20, I worked for a magazine publication in New York. Ever read The Devil Wears Prada? Minus the handsome suitors, it was a story I could relate to. The publishing world is harsh.

Today I work for one of the biggest advertising agencies in the world. But after only 4 years of being in this industry, I have decided I have had enough. I want to pursue a life in film production – like a million other people do.

I love life in New York. If I didn’t have my parents or friends living in Perth, I wonder sometimes if there would be any reason to return.

Whilst living in New York I have:
1. Learnt to cook
2. Become a literary junkie
3. Made friends with people I REALLY “click” with
4. Not only saw Lou Reed in a small and intimate concert but also went to a party he attended (and got royally trashed)
5. Learnt to appreciate summer - NY winters are harsh
6. Not had any major heart break - I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing…
7. Last but not least, I have seen my favorite Picasso painting 7 times this year and that is special.

Just as I was commenting that New York turns into a ghost town during summer, it seems New York Mag has also picked up on the emptier than usual hustling bustling city. Check out their story here.

I have been living in New York for just over 1.5 years now so whilst I can’t compare New York to perhaps 5 years ago, I can definitely say that compared to last year, there are definitely more “For Rent” signs plastered around the city, as well as “Open House” flyers posted on every corner during the weekend. The past year has also claimed so many restaurants who couldn’t survive the financial downfall.

I recently met a new male friend who I’ve been hanging out with recently. Last night after watching a disappointing Animal Collective show, he told me he was moving back to his home town, Massachusetts, to live in his parents house (whilst his parents traveled the world). He’s writing his 2-year thesis and said it was a struggle in New York these days. I was heartbroken. Ignore the fact that he’s started becoming a good guy to hang out with and makes me feel like I’m the best thing since sliced bread, but I was disappointed that our city was losing talent. He’s an overall super smartie pants and culturalist and gets flown out to festivals like SXSW and film festivals to comment on the talent and happenings, but he also writes on topics of politics and the shitty public health system here and the environment. He thrives of New York City - this city suits him so well, so to hear him leave was sad. I’ve had a few other friends leave this year to move to places like Berlin (a thriving art scene) and Paris and Los Angeles all for the sake of their careers/dreams/ambitions.

I can name a million reasons why I love this city, but one of the reasons is the huge population of talented folks (of every field) that inspire me to be just as great as they are.

I miss Perth beaches.

New Yorkers love to get out of the city. It’s crazy how the city turns into a ghost town when there’s a long weekend. Even during summer weekends, I wake up and look outside my window to find deserted streets as everyone heads to the Hamptons or the Jersey shore.

I haven’t been out of the city since February this year when I went to Minneapolis for business. It’s not like I didn’t want to – we had a harsh winter and I got really sick with the flu a few times. It changed me. I went from being a winter lover to dreaming of being on the beaches of WA. WTF!! I definitely took it for granted back in Perth having a swimming pool in my back yard and beach 30 minutes away.

But this weekend I’m getting some sun, surf and sand. I’m heading to Montauk with my three surfer boy friends tomorrow and I am ecstatic. I can’t wait to sink my toes into the sand. To bury myself in a book. To cool off in the cold sea. To lay on my back and feel the sun on my skin. To leave the hair dryer at home and embrace shaggy sea salt hair for 3 days…

Hello again…. I missed you guys. Really, I did. I find it slightly ironic that I’ve been taking writing classes in the last month and haven’t been giving my blog (ie. the perfect writing forum) some love. I may have set some expectations now by disclosing my latest extra curricular activity, so can I just say, please don’t expect much more. It’s all for the fun of New York.

Before my quarter of a century birthday, I realized I was getting into “comfort mode” - slipping into this day to day predictability. I wouldn’t exactly say it was mundane - I don’t know if it’s really possible to be living a mundane life in this city, but turning 25 put a whole new spin on living in this wonderful city - I decided I was going to do all I can to take advantage of New York.

It started with free writing classes - learning from witty and intelligent teachers who have written successful feature films and tv shows and literature. A week later I was dancing under pink and purple sunset skies to this famous French DJ set on the Hudson River. I watched one of my favorite bands, Explosions in the Sky, play on a stage in Central Park that was surrounded by massive leafy green willow type trees. Last week I saw this heart breaking installation at the MoMA - a Chinese womans personal belongings she had collected over 50 years and displayed after her death. It completely moved me and made me cry thinking about a mother and fathers sacrifice and love for their children. This week I’m going to a party at a secret Robot gallery.

More stories to come…

Song Project at MoMA

Um… HI! Hello! It’s been awhile. Sorry. I’ll give you an update soon. Promise. For now, here’s something that has made me giggle today. I especially love the Asian baby and the one that nearly loses his balance - CUTE.

Happy Birthday to meeee….. Great party on the weekend. Went to bed at 7am. Saw the sunrise with Jason by the Hudson River. Awoke this morning with texts from my best friends. Dinner tonight. Big deal. Will story tell later…!

I saw Steve Carell and Tina Fey filming behind my apartment last night. The trailers took up 5 blocks of my street. They’re filming the latest 20th Century Fox film - Date Night. I saw the wardrobe and it looks like Steve Carell’s character gets in a conundrum of sorts (ripped up messy shirt and jacket).

Seeing the production crew at work completely inspired me. Inspiration on the streets of New York at 10pm… awesome.

I spent Saturday night at home. Alone. In New York City. It’s not like I don’t have amazing friends who called me to go out for a drink last night - thank god for my friends. But if anyone asks, I went out and had a rip roaring time.

I was really crabby and couldn’t bring myself to go out. I blamed it on Jason. It wasn’t a far stretch that he was the cause of my sudden change in mood since he told me that he would be spending his Saturday night having drinks with another Aussie girl that his friend was trying to set him up with.

We’re not going out. We’re not exclusive. But spending every day with him and having unresolved feelings, I can’t help but feel a bit shafted. It made it worse that this chick is Australian because in my crazy head I feel he’s just replacing me.

He kept texting me to see if I wanted to meet up - which in reality means the date with the other girl didn’t go so great. But I ignored him. Haha! Talk about being a woman. He kept texting…. hey?….so?…..where are you? I texted back saying I’d speak to him in the morning. So he started calling me… till 3am. But I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him. You know, generally when I give the silent treatment, I want the other person to know what they had done to deserve the silence. But in this case, I really did not want Jason to know and hence why I couldn’t bring myself to pick up his calls for fear I’d let something slip. He called me this morning and kept asking if I was ok… what was wrong. He said I was never grumpy so it had to be something.

When I looked in the mirror I realized I had 2 pimples - one smack bang on the tip of my nose. I’ve been having stomach cramps for the past 2 days. And whilst I’m not discounting how I really feel about the situation, I’m sure it doesn’t help that it’s just that time of the month.