It’s fun going away on business trips, but there’s nothing better than coming home and seeing this view from the plane.
What a way to say “welcome back”.

A few weeks ago, I checked out this Danish band with Jason. The short jist is, they were pretty impressive - rich, atmospheric sounds that sent shivers down my spine.

Since seeing them, I’ve been having a really, really silly (but oh so exciting and fun) online romance with the bassist from the band. I saw the band the weekend after the random hand job incident so I was still reeling from the previous weekend and being ballsy and confident. I pretty much laid it all out on the table with the bassist and told him I wanted to get to know him more and couldn’t wait till he got back to New York and since then, we’ve just been writing back and forth. Whilst I know he’s single, I am not a complete moron. I am well aware he is probably meeting hundreds of girls on this tour, but I would love to know if there could be something between us, and as long as he’s living in Copenhagen and I am living in New York, I am never going to find out…

So here’s the crazy part… are you ready for it? Here it is…

I am in the process of trying to get a short term transfer to our Copenhagen office.

I know it’s nuts and whilst he is admittedly the main motivating factor right now, there are so many reasons for me to do this. For starters, I’ve always wanted to work in Europe. Secondly, our Copenhagen office has amazing clients I’d love to work with. Thirdly, it’s going to look kick ass on my resume. And lastly, the potential romance. I mean, planning this takes anywhere from 4 months to a year so anything could happen during that time. If I get there, and nothing happens between me and The Bassist, I’d like to think there’s always the opportunity to meet other handsome Danes, right!? I realize there could be heart break, but bring it on. I am sure it will make a great story later.

Also, I just want to emphasize that this would be a short term transfer - there is no way I am ready to permanently leave New York. I love this city!!! I know this is nuts, but I gotta do this crazy shit whilst I’m still young and have nothing to lose. Right…?

It all started with a scratchy throat cough then 24 hours later (whilst in a meeting with clients!!) I was shivering. I put my heavy winter coat on but couldn’t get warm. But the next hour I had a fever and was dripping with sweat. I kept falling asleep and it was a struggle to concentrate. It was super embarrassing and a stressful situation with my clients there. My colleagues rushed me to the hospital which was kinda scary.

I’d never been to a hospital here in the States and knew there were all these things I had to think about, like whether my health care provider would cover my treatment and if I was in network, out of network, all this health care mumbo jumbo. The doctor acted like it was no big deal, gave me a prescription for drugs and told me to stay away from people. So I’m shacked up in a nice hotel here in Chicago till I can fly back to NY. To be honest, I can’t wait to get home.

Work had to decontaminate my work area and sent out an email to all employees which is super embarrassing. They don’t mention names, but when I woke up this morning I had 16 messages asking if I was ok. Everyone’s sweetness is so lovely, but can’t wait to kick this!!

“Hi! Great to meet you last night. What are you up to tonight? Interested in meeting up for drinks? Stella”

No reply. Rejection! To be honest, I knew there was a big chance that would happen. Unfortunately, as much as we got along, I kinda knew feelings weren’t reciprocated. Eric has been harping on that he thinks I’m scared of rejection and that’s what stops me from getting out there. I love that he tells me this like it’s some big revelation, but I doesn’t take Einstein to figure that one out. This is 100% true. So even though this is going to sound retarded, I almost wanted rejection from John so I could feel the pain of rejection, and see how I dealt with getting over it.

So I headed out with my girlfriends on Saturday night. Eric joined us and pushed me to talk to random men. After he left, me and my friend headed to one bar in the East Village. By this time, it was 2am and I was a happy drunk and feeling flirty and sexy. I kept glancing at this cute guy who stood alone behind us at the bar, but was occasionally talking to some Asian girl. He wore plaid and was tall and did I mention he was cute? Soon enough, he came over and started chatting to me. My friend felt like the 3rd wheel and disappeared to the toilets. I’m chatting to this guy Sean, and we start making out at the bar. We couldn’t have given a toss about who we were, what we did, our background, etc.. which I think is the reason I felt so sketchy about the whole situation.

He was begging me to leave the bar with him. If he wasn’t so cute I would’ve walked away after his “smooth line” of “How would you feel about seeing me naked?”. But I was lapping up the attention. It was a major ego boost after such a dry season and it was just what I needed. By 3am, the bar was emptying out and Sean and I headed to the back of the bar where it was pitch black and my girl friend was dancing with this tall mammoth of a man. I know this is going to sound juvenile, but as we made out in the corner, I gave him a hand job. Hah. A hand job! Yes, i am 25 years old and gave a hand job to some random guy at a bar. But like I said, it was pitch black. He asked to go back to my place, but I just was not feeling it. I’ve been complaining to my friends for months about my poor sex life, and here was this guy, cute and eager, and I couldn’t feel it. I dragged my girl friend outside and asked what I should do… she walked me to the curb, popped me in a cab and told me it wasn’t worth it. So yes. I left this poor guy at the bar wondering where I was. And whilst I felt really bad the next morning, I had no regrets.

When I moved back to NY last year, I met so many guys and was a lot more confident and daring and brazen. My favorite encounters was this guy and this guy. I used my foreignness to my advantage and threw out my Australian accent whenever I got a chance. But this year, that brazen foreign girl that was once me seems to have disappeared. I’ve become too comfortable with my group of friends and being the center of attention with my guy friends has almost replaced the neediness for sex/love/romance.

So Eric (who has been the biggest pusher for me to get back to my brazen self) set me up with his friend on Friday night. I met Eric, his friend John and John’s friend Jeff at a bar on the Lower East Side.

As soon as I saw John, I thought “Holy crap. Eric has really pulled through”. He was just my type. Brown floppy hair and big, thick, brown rimmed glasses. We had a great conversation and exchanged numbers, but he was far more interested in talking to Eric about business, and Jeff was far more interested in me. But I wasn’t interested. Jeff was a little prickly at first, but the more we got to talking, the nicer he was. He bought me drinks because he told me, “I don’t want you to leave”. Conversation was good enough but I felt like he was trying to up me all the time. There was no spark. In fact, I thought he was gay when I first saw him and ruled him out straight away. John left the bar a little earlier then we did. Jeff ended up walking me home.

Erik messaged me the next morning asking if anything happened with Jeff. I texted back…

“NO”.

Saturday night was another story. Two words.

Drunken. Debauchery.

Stay tuned.

I suppose since our table was pretty bare, they sat the new girl with us.

It was her first day and she wore jeans and a white tank top with her belly button showing. The HR director took her around and the new girl kept calling the director “Hun”. “Thanks Hun.” “No worries Hun”. Her ball point pen rolled off her desk and on the floor and she screamed “Oh no!” and made sure everyone on our floor heard about it. She screams into the phone and has to make a noise and make her presence known. Any little twitch is heard. Any little movement and someone on the other side of the building can hear it. Here’s the bitchy girl in me, but oh god she is so annoying!!!

And to top it all off? She’s a Kiwi.

Don’t get me wrong. I have friends from New Zealand, but since Flight of the Conchords, everyone plays up this big rivalry between Australia and New Zealand and this just makes it worse. Everyone keeps asking if we’re going to wrestle and if they need to keep us apart.

I got back from a meeting in the afternoon and had two instant messages from two friends who sit a few desks away.

Phil “I don’t care what that new girl’s name is - she’s officially called Loud Mouth”.

Amy “Don’t hate me for saying this, but that Australian chick needs to pipe down or else her face is going to meet my fist”.

Hooray for friends.

*please note - I do not really condone violence. Not all the time anyway.

Last week I was walking to work. It was a gorgeous day. The sun was out. It was a slightly chilly morning. I was walking the back streets to work, going along Washington Street.

Who do I see walking his dog but my music idol - Lou Reed! LOU REED!
Velvet Underground is my favorite band and I am such a huge fan of the man. I wanted to scream. Instead I laughed because I thought it was such a typically ridiculous thing that could only happen in this city. Walking to work and bumping into a music legend. Love it.

When I moved to NY last year, I saw him at this small show for $30. I went on my own and had a “NY moment”. I stayed after the show hoping to get a record signed. I stayed for a good hour after the show, only to see him get ushered away quickly into a town car. I was gutted.

I went to a party earlier this year and he was there with his partner Laurie. I was so intimidated by the crowd I couldn’t approach him.

And now here I was. Just me and Lou and his dog. My perfect opportunity. And did I say anything? No. I didn’t need to. I walked to work with an extra spring in my step and boasted about my encounter to colleagues.

And of course… I fell in love with NY all over again.

I was away in Chicago for business and didn’t see it first hand, but on Monday when she returned to work and told everyone, her bosses and random colleagues were coming up to her every 10 minutes asking if he had texted back, some were even so blatantly rude/annoying and rifling through her bag to find her cell phone to check if she had received any new messages! INSANITY! What is wrong with people?!

All this attention and expectations really fucked over my friend. Her bosses said that if she was planning a rendezvous with GB, she could take a day off the next day and not feel bad about it - they just wanted to hear all about it. Which I suppose is cool that her bosses were encouraging of her to take a day off after shagging GB, but it’s not very cool that they were also constantly grilling her for updates.

A week later, after many lectures and crying and all that BS, she has learnt to keep her mouth shut. She’s told everyone it’s over - that he stopped messaging. Only me and another girlfriend (plus her mom) know what’s actually going on. The insanity has stopped, but the crafting of late night text messages has not!

He’s been seeing this girl for a month and called me on Friday to say things had progressed and were now using the “bf” and “gf” terms. Spew. I am really fucking nervous about meeting her. Jason said to me “She knows all about you - and she’s going to treat you like a princess”. Jason hasn’t said the most positive things about her so I’m slightly cautious.

I keep thinking… What should I wear? What if she hates me? What if I hate her? Do I tell him? Will this effect our friendship? Will he chose me over her? Is this going to last? Is it worth becoming friends with her? Oh god… I hope I don’t have to hang out with her every time I hang out with Jason. I hope she’s not too pretty. I wish I was slightly threatening looking….

The other day, our friend Johnny got back from a trip overseas and called me to catch up for a drink. We usually hang out in our group of friends that consists of me and five boys. I met all the boys through Jason because he went to college with them and I am super close to all of them but am definitely the odd one out being the only chick and foreigner. Johnny asked “So how are my boys doing?” But he quickly went to correct himself and said “Or should I say, how are your boys doing?”.

But am I losing a boy? Is Jason no longer one of “my boys”? I am insane.